Admittedly, Christmas is an odd tradition, especially when we try to explain it to children. Reindeer fly. Snowmen live. Strange, strangely-clad, obese, bearded men engage in chimney-oriented home invasions, eat other people’s food, and give away stuff, with no regard to any quid pro quo, as if they were fat, hirsute, red-coated liberals.

Nobody doesn’t like Schwarzenegger jokes. He’s like the Sara Lee of comedy.

Now to be fair, a colonoscopy is a fairly common procedure these days, if you define “fairly common” as being starved, purged, drugged, prodded, and having several total strangers co-star with some of your internal organs in a reality show that you can’t watch, but which you get to pay for.

He bumped his head. That’s it – that’s all he did.