- Unfortunately, the inebriated ventriloquist didn’t realize he’d left his hand puppet backstage.
- Things were not looking good for the repeal of ObamaCare after the President admitted how many Republicans were on board.
- “Yeah, yeah. Obama could sing Al Green tunes. So can I. But my hand can sing backup, too!”
- Reviews were mixed for Carnegie Hall’s debut of “The Three-in-One Tenors”
- “His mouth was saying ‘two’ but clearly his hand said ‘three'”, shrieked Maxine Waters. “Impeach! IMPEACH!”
- The classroom was captivated as the storyteller got to the part where Alice smoked a joint with Johnny Depp
- “Beginning today, all foreigners seeking asylum will have to pass through this very small security gate.”
- History tells us precious little about the original Vulcan “live long and prosper” hand salute
- “Okay, here’s a tough one,” snarked the MSNBC anchor. “How many blind mice were there?”
- Tonight! On an all-new Name That Vowel!