- Siamese Twins Adopt Siamese Cats
- As Economy Falters, Tattoo Parlors Getting Innovative
- “Would someone PLEASE get this human off my back?”
- Designer Beachwear Debuts; PETA Expresses Outrage
- University Faces Setback in Gene-Splicing Experiment
- ASPCA Blasted For “Pet Me” Adoption Campaign
- Olan Mills’ Niche Marketing Fails To Boost Flagging Sales
- New Anti-Mouse Techniques Looking Promising For Musophobes
- South Carolina Governor Continues To Release Amorous Details
- Cat Burglars Nabbed In FBI Sting
- Life Discovered On Mars; NASA Quietly Cancels Exploration Budget
- Super-Glue Product Trials Go Horribly Wrong
- Vet School Valedictorians Proudly Display, Well, Nearly Everything
- Suggested Football Mascots Fail To Impress Clemson Alumni
- Mob Boss, Moll Indicted In Brutal Gangland Spaying
- Unorthodox Suture Rationing Scheme Discovered In HealthCare Bill
- Stampede Injures Dozens As Curtain Opens For “Lion In Winter” Remake
- “FIG LEAF, Adam. I said FIG LEAF.”